Day 6 of my IHM Visit - Finding my place

I thought I would have lots of time to think and pray and write - but I've stayed so busy! I am trying to find my bearings in this unfamiliar place. My room at Norman Towers is comfortable, but there is no Internet there, and I haven't subscribed to TV service. (There is one channel, which never shows anything I am interested in when I am there. I did find someone to watch Downton Abbey with Sunday night, and have an invitation from another sister for the final episode of the season this coming Sunday night. Will Mary and Cousin Matthew get married? Will the burned/drowned/maybe fiance reappear and marry Edith?)

At home, I go to the A Nun's Life live podcast at 4 in the afternoon. It's at 7 PM here! So for the past several days, I've stayed many hours at the Motherhouse where I can always use the wireless connection and keep up with the NL Forums, Facebook, and email, etc.

I get to the Motherhouse sometime between 8:30 and 9 and log on for a while before morning mass or word/communion service. Then there's about an hour and a half free before lunch. I either work on the computer or visit with the sisters. (I'm working VERY hard to learn their names! And names have always been hard for me. Fortunately, I can always fall back on "Sister!")

I have found a number of comfortable places to sit with my laptop - in the great entry hall/lobby, some secluded parlors and dining rooms, up with the sisters on 2nd floor in their Community Room (a great place since I have space to work and also a chance to visit with sisters as they come and go - but not a very strong wireless connection. Right now I am working from Sr. Joyce and Sister Jo's office downstairs in A wing. It's sort of become my home-away-from-home.)

I really enjoy mealtimes because everyone is so kind and hospitable. They invite me to sit at their tables - they ask me questions and I end up telling stories from my life. They make me feel more than welcome! (An interesting counterpoint to those adolescent years when I always wondered which is a safe table to stop at in the cafeteria!)

Then there are activities in the afternoons - or time to do a little computing or read - or more visiting. I've gone out a couple of afternoons with friends for errands, etc. Theoretically, there should be plenty of time for everything. But the time just disappears. Before I know it it's time for Evening Prayer (Divine Office) at 4:30 generally, then it's dinner time! I tend to stay visiting in the dining room for quite a while. By the time the podcast is over, it's 8-8:30 and I'm heading back to Norman Towers! So my day has been 12 hours long and I've stayed busy and happily occupied - but I wonder where the hours have gone. I pick up my mail, think about answering or paying bills or whatever - but usually postpone till later.

It's 1:40 in the afternoon right now. My next scheduled activity is at 3 PM with the sisters. Then I will go out to dinner tonight with Sr. Joyce and a friend at 4:30. Maybe I'll take a little walk back to my place in daylight! Do a little reading or writing - or take a nap! And then come back for the meeting at 3.

I took the picture above last night as I left the Motherhouse for Norman Towers. This is such a beautiful place.

I ask myself always why I am here (and the sisters ask me, too, so my motivations are a continuing question for all of us. I am a mystery person to everyone, including myself).

Yesterday, the homily at mass was about Jesus telling the blind man he'd just healed not to go back to his village. Sometimes, when we are in a period of inner change and transformation, we need a little distance from our familiar surroundings -  our environment and the people who know us well - to consolidate what is going on, to not be held in place by what is already known about oneself.

So -- I'm in an interesting place between who I've been and who I might become. Not real comfortable. Adventures aren't generally comfortable, I suppose. In the next few days, I'm going to try to rearrange my schedule so that I spend some daylight hours at Norman Towers - find better balance.

(Next time I'm going to write about the significance of the phrase, "new and emerging forms of religious life . . . that's what got me into this situation, you know!)